When you are a teenager everything seems ten times worth then it actual is. Friend trouble, boy troubles, school troubles, but there is one thing which i never thought i'd have to deal with....and that little bastard was Crohn's Disease. Well for a start i have never heard of it before and to be told you have it at age 14 was a bit of a shocker, and to be honest terrifying. Incase you are wondering what Crohn's disease is then i shall leave a link HERE. So i care spare you all the gory detail. For a while i had been feeling not myself, loosing weight, going to the toilet about 10 tens a day, and when you are at school and you are going to the toilet constantly everybody starts to question "what is wrong with that weird girl who goes to the loo every 10 seconds" This then led to be feeling really sick and started to get really bad belly aches. Some mornings i would wake up in floods of tears because the pain was that bad. For a while i suffered in silence until my mum noticed i lost a stone and i was in pain pretty much all of the time. So a trip to the doctors was made and a year later BOOM i was told i have Crohn's! Little to my knowledge Crohn's is very common and affects 1 in every 650 people, mainly between the ages of 15 to 30. No body really knows what causes Crohn's but they are lead to believe it is hereditary, so cheers Grand Granddad! There is no cure either which is a ball ache, but there are tablets to control it. It took me about 3 different medications to find out which one was the right one for me, because everyones body reacts different, and they also may have it in a different place. It can vary from your intestine to your bottom end.
This disease really did some good though, it made me realise how people have such little understanding. They have no idea how it feels, what affects is has to your personally life, to your daily life. I suffered from panic attacks when ever i was in a small place with loads of people. So being at school was rather difficult. I used to hide in the toilets so i wouldn't have to go to assembly. I used to go into panic mode whenever i had to go on the tube. I'd be afraid to go to my friends houses. All because (i'm going to be totally honest now) All because i was afraid, afraid incase i needed to fart or go for a shit. Which is stupid ! it's a natural thing ! why should i be afraid or embarrassed ! So many people suffer from it why should i let this ruin my life ! As i got older i became more open and spoke about it more and just started making jokes about it, because to me that was the best way of not being scared about it. After i stopped being afraid i didn't thing about it. I carry on with life just like normal. I take my tablets, i go to work, see my friends and boyfriend and live my life. Every now and then i get a bad spell but it passes.
If you are dealing with it please don't be afraid be open about it, do not be embarrassed and do not let it get you down. There are thousands of people who are dealing with it. You are not alone. Don't let it control your life like it almost did to me. Find your own special way of dealing with it. If you know somebody that has it maybe it speak to them about, or even read about it. Get a better understand on what it is rather then just leaving people to deal with it by my self's.
And to all those people who took the piss out of me, well you can fuck off.
wankers.
